How to get help if you're experiencing bullying

Dealing with bullying can be really tough. You might feel alone and overwhelmed, or just unsure of what to do next. But here’s something important to remember: you don’t have to go through this on your own, and talking with someone about what you’re experiencing can make a real difference.

Why talking about bullying can help

It might feel hard to imagine right now, but sharing what you’re going through can really help. We’ve heard from lots of young people in Australia who’ve experienced bullying, and they often say that telling someone  about it was a turning point.

Read the transcript.

Talking about bullying can often help.

• It can feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders – keeping it to yourself is a heavy burden.

• You realise you’re not alone when you hear that someone understands, or is simply there for you.

• It helps you to process what happened, and to make sense of the experience, so you can start to move forward.

• You can discover new strategies to help you cope, as the person you talk to might have ideas or be able to help you find ways to deal with the situation.

• It reassures you of your worth – bullying can really knock your confidence, and talking to someone who cares can remind you of your strengths and of who you are as a person.

Your 5-step plan for talking about bullying

Knowing that talking helps is one thing, but actually doing it can feel like a big step. If you’re not sure where to start, here’s a plan to help you prepare.

1. Acknowledge your worries (but don’t let them stop you)

It’s completely normal to feel scared or worried about talking. You might wonder if it’ll make things worse, or if anyone will listen. Try to recognise these worries, but don’t let them prevent you from getting the support you deserve. Your health, happiness and safety are important.

2. Think about who you want to talk to 

Think about someone you trust who will listen without judging you. This could be a friend, a family member, a teacher, a school counsellor, a coach, or even a manager if the bullying is happening at work . 

The most important thing is that you share what's going on with someone. School counsellors and teachers often have experience with similar situations. They might be able to help you create a plan for dealing with bullies at school. 

3. Plan what you want to say 

It can be helpful to jot down what’s been happening before you talk to someone. This can make it clearer in your own mind and also help the other person understand that it’s not just a one-off incident. When you talk, keep the following in mind:

• Try using ‘I’ statements to explain how you feel. For example, ‘When [the bullying action] happens, I feel upset/embarrassed/scared.’

• Think about what you want from the conversation. Do you just want someone to listen? Do you want advice, or for them to help you take action? It’s okay if you don’t know – you can figure that out together.

• Be aware that if the person you tell is an adult in a position of responsibility (like a teacher or counsellor), and they’re worried about your safety, they may need to let someone else know. This is just to make sure you’re protected.

4. Choose the right time and place 

Try to pick a time when the person you want to talk to isn't busy or distracted, so they can give you their full attention. This might be during a lunch break, after school or work, or just during a quiet moment. If finding the ‘perfect’ time is tricky, remember that this is important – it’s okay to interrupt them if you need to. 

Think about where you’d feel most comfortable talking. A private space where you won’t be overheard is often best, as you might be discussing sensitive things. This could be an empty classroom, an office, or even at a park. If you can’t talk face-to-face, using text, email or a call is perfectly okay.

5. Don’t give up if the first conversation isn’t helpful

Sometimes, the first person you talk to might not understand, or the bullying might not stop straight away. That’s okay, and it doesn’t mean you should stop trying. 

If you don’t feel heard or taken seriously, try talking to someone else. Getting support is a process, and it might take a few tries to find what works for you. Remember: you don’t have to go through this alone.

Getting professional support for bullying

Sometimes, talking to friends or family isn't enough, or the impact of bullying is seriously affecting your wellbeing. That’s when reaching out for professional support can be a really helpful step. It might be time to get professional help if:

• you’re worrying constantly about the bullying

• you’re experiencing intense stress, anxiety or depression

• it’s affecting your sleep

• nothing else you’ve tried has helped.

There are many types of mental health professionals and services that can help with bullying and its impact on your mental health.

• General practitioners (GPs) are often a great first port of call. They can listen with empathy, understand your situation and act as an advocate for you, whether it’s with your school or workplace. They can also discuss creating a mental health care plan with you, which can help make sessions with a psychologist more affordable.

• Counsellors and psychologists are trained to help you work through difficult experiences such as bullying, to develop coping strategies and to manage your emotional responses. Ask your GP for a referral or search for a registered counsellor in your area .

• School or university counsellors are usually free and easily accessible on campus. The counsellors are experienced in supporting young people with a range of issues, including bullying.

Online and phone support services are also excellent options if you’re worried about privacy, transport or finances, or just prefer to connect online. You could:

• chat online with experts at eheadspace

• access support through Kids Helpline by phone or online

• connect with trained peer workers through ReachOut PeerChat .

No matter what, remember that it’s not your fault if you’re being bullied, and nobody expects you to deal with it on your own. Taking a step to talk about it is a sign of strength.

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